Our Thoughts are not FACTS!

Our thoughts are not FACTS!

One of the most important insights I share with clients is this simple truth -just because we think something, doesn’t make it true. Which isn’t really a big deal when all is going well in our world but when we're stressed, anxious, or under pressure, it’s so easy to get tangled up in our thoughts and accept them as facts.

And that’s when we can unintentionally undermine and self-sabotage ourselves!

From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) perspective, this is where cognitive defusion comes in—creating space between you and your thoughts so they no longer dictate your emotions or actions.

We can learn to ‘unhook’ ourselves from our thinking so that we keep moving towards what’s important to us even when it feels challenging.

Here’s a quick, practical way to try it:

• When a difficult thought pops up (e.g. “I’m not good enough”, “They think I’m no good at this” etc or better still insert your own self-limiting belief here - it usually begins with “I’m not __________”), and try adding: “I’m having the thought that, I’m not ________”

• So, it becomes: “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.”

• You can now say this out loud or to yourself “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.” and repeat x10 times

All the time, just observing, no need to judge…...

• Then take it one step further: “I notice I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough.”

• Repeat this x10 times.

Just like that, you’ve created a little distance. You’re observing the thought, rather than being the thought.

This small shift can make a big difference. You start to realise that you feed yourself a lot of negative stuff!

Remember you are not your thoughts and science suggests we have approximately 60,000 thoughts a day and that over 90% of these thoughts are repetitive and negative – same auld stuff we were thinking about yesterday!  

As a Coaching Psychologist, I often work with clients to help them build this skill. The goal isn’t to get rid of negative thoughts (that’s actually impossible!)—but we learn to change our relationship with our thinking so they don’t hold you back as much. Book a free 30 min coaching discovery session today and take the first step towards a healthier, happier you.